I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
