Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
