A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
