My hand turned me down
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
