dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
