i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Randomize
