saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
