Well douche your snatch and let's go!
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
He's on the porch naked. Help.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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