Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
