Pappa wants mamma naked
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
