I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
we're making bets on your personal life
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
