Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
