PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
