You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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