Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Randomize
