I'm jealous of your bromance
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
