I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
