I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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