OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
