Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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