My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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