I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize