I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
