i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
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