i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
