After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
