You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Randomize