It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
He's a Shit stain on my heart
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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