She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Randomize
