Why are handjobs necessary in class?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
