hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I party with great urgency now.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
