you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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