I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
