omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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