real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
