you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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