How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I love you. Go after that dick
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
