I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
