"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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