I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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