He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
