I look better un-naked...
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
