I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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