Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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