Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
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