please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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