is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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