i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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