I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
