Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
This is classic penis vs brain.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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