He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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