Im at strip club and am horny
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize