i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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