Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
You smell like stripper and shame
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
