her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
So much Jack, so little girl.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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