Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
