I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
