She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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