Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
