I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Randomize