I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
