I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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